tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-92092875600099767742012-01-19T12:00:58.733-06:00draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.comBlogger2741100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-71849953659365493312011-12-20T03:11:00.031-06:002011-12-20T23:13:27.255-06:00

He picked up the pen determined. This was it, he thought. His niche. Writer's block was never a problem but this was a related burden that would be gone, and it was how to write. Thoughts would no longer be dammed. Before there were hesitations, now the ink and the pad were out for a special occasion. This time there was a philosophy founding the method before the paper. No longer afraid to

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-55152858659366081962011-12-13T03:00:00.017-06:002011-12-13T03:24:24.151-06:00

There are so many great moments we so rarely capture. Like this one conversation with a friend in the dark after crawling through a window to avoid an alarm. We spoke and our collective fear and plight slowly unraveled. An open window calmed us with rain sounds and allowed us to see our figures as shadow. It was a night of warm mist and relative darkness, and moist from the drizzling rain but a

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-70904835281062855232011-12-09T22:06:00.011-06:002011-12-09T22:32:22.061-06:00

Sometimes I walk my pompous walk, through the streets of the metropolis, about the upper class stores like say Walmart, and I often stop and ponder and and stroke my chin and look up, standing next to stock steel pots. And I think of the machinery in the factories and the scientists inputting data into computer screens exacting the accurate mechanics to make sure the bottom fits the lid, to make

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-70041043426991901172011-12-03T17:08:00.003-06:002011-12-03T17:26:42.879-06:00

Accepting applications for a sugar mother. m4wOh, dear god, I'm so alone, so alone. Why else would one create a Craigslist personal? So alone, so alone. So alone's an inside joke, but here I am spewing it like some proverb touting some universal truth in complete disregard for you. Join me in loverhood and enjoy an extension of the same sentiment. You know, like Fry from Futurama, failing to

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-4018371415293835692011-11-30T13:46:00.014-06:002011-12-03T16:48:39.133-06:00

Back when I was a lad, I'd watch Tales From the Crypt alone in my room on a second hand TV that must've came from the 60s. It was just before bed that this young adult got to see graphic tales of gore and sex. And the reception was piss poor likely due to shoddy wiring, but man, the static only added to the magic. You know, I hate owning a smartphone. I yelp "Go go gadget vibrator" and all of

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-24340874777740078722011-11-29T19:30:00.014-06:002011-11-29T21:11:14.082-06:00

Decided to begin sporting a thin moustache to commemorate having given up on society. As a kind of sport, naturally, I've decided to make a club. The club is free to join and called the Purposely Creepy Moustache Havers (or, xPCMHx).Now, there are a few prerequisites to joining the movement. You must have: disdain for societypurposely creepy moustachea carabiner that holds nothingoptional:

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-68469930590154183152011-10-10T14:22:00.004-05:002011-10-10T14:25:21.794-05:00

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-44649512494481825112011-09-27T06:59:00.000-05:002011-09-27T06:59:40.033-05:00

Finally the overdue idea of lolhead apparel has come to fruition. These are commission free. Not that they'll sell, but hey they were fun to make and now I can order a $2 test print. Here are some designs: Andras: "Grand Marquis of Hell. He teaches those whom he favors to kill their enemies, masters and servants. He stirs up trouble and dissension. He commands thirty legions."Keep Snitching in

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-55442270578640285772011-09-08T23:45:00.026-05:002011-09-13T11:01:17.760-05:00

1. Out of Ideas - Trying to Make Being an Asshole Fashionable2. Cryptopsy - You Won't Notice This Album Was Previously Released Under a Different Title3. Bloodbeard - Visiting Rotten.com Gives Me Mystique4. 49 and Living with Mom - Gurgle Gurgle Gurgle5. Practicing Pagans - Second Grade Crush Come Back6. Cannibal Corpse - James Dean-Delusional Grocery Baggers Union (DVD-Audio album)7. Deicide -

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-81756730455667290192011-09-03T20:24:00.025-05:002011-09-08T10:42:26.691-05:00

Being sick is hip, I tell you. It's instant style. You go out floating on a physical high caused by your body attacking bacteria. 'Oh, my voice? Yeah, it gets raspy like I'm gargling marbles when I have strep throat.' You go to the cute underage blonde at the cash register and slam two gallons of premium priced orange juice on the counter. You're sick, you can't have no ordinary orange juice. You

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-21743497633179166212011-08-27T13:26:00.005-05:002011-08-27T13:46:22.029-05:00

I'm here to clarify something for those not in the know. Joanna Newsom and her "music" are garbage. The term is used loosely. Her latest album was an un-catchy number called Have One on Me, which like Miles Davis' Bitches Brew proves if you've made a name for yourself you can make an indulgent, boring, unappealing album a critical hit. It came out in 2010 and the memory has yet to leave my head.

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-42296642674654047222011-08-22T19:27:00.005-05:002011-09-08T09:20:05.502-05:00

Story as seen in Red Giant, the new album from Philadelphia metallic hardcore masters CENTURY. This is big time. My family talks to me through an agent.The story of CENTURY is simple... During the Dark Ages a Virgin Mother birthed a child at the very moment her eunuch husband was subjected to the most brilliantly wicked of medieval torture available at the time in the local town square. It was an

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-17562577207651035842011-08-13T15:44:00.007-05:002011-09-06T06:31:23.174-05:00

My Dear Readers,As you know, I enjoy the company of a son. He's age three or zero or something and the pride of my loving wife. This aside, my girlfriend is an expectant mother currently holding a quintuplet of buns in her fertile oven. This has raised some permeating questions regarding my born and unborn offspring, namely how to raise them. Me and my lovers have agreed television is no way to

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-3137285560278971572011-07-10T15:33:00.006-05:002011-07-14T08:24:29.549-05:00

The dark grey night bled a particular kind of smokey light. The local monastery deepened its aura of wonder and brooding posture against the backdrop of charcoal clouds backlit by a bright full moon. Even the mice took a night off from stirring. Not one window in the entire suburban part of town exposed itself to the outside world with a yellow glow. Above flew what could be either vultures,

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-53379971634636777532011-07-06T15:23:00.002-05:002011-07-06T15:54:35.958-05:00

Proof the justice system works. In theory, it's there to protect citizens, not please the general public's fired up knee-jerk response to Nancy Grace's idiotic ramblings. They didn't sit through hearings for years, jurors did. Even if she were guilty. At worst, she's only a few years late with her abortion and irritated the most evil lady on the planet. Here's hoping she survives well enough

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-30312139908675742632011-06-26T13:54:00.007-05:002011-06-26T14:09:23.154-05:00

Irreverent man seeking pretentious, obnoxious art wench.Hey babes. Largely unambitious male here. I'm the type of manchild women send themselves via mailorder from Russia because of. Like your average Russian male I'm a defeatist easily disillusion by the mere fall of the Soviet Union. Like that country the United States is soon to become a second world and instead of fighting the system I've

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-9625024718739533472011-06-08T19:45:00.011-05:002011-06-08T20:49:34.175-05:00

Looking for female basically physical manifestation of Satan. m4wI like a gal more frail than glass, with more baggage than the cargo bay in a commercial aircraft. I'm not speaking of your sweet, wounded puppy pseudo-princess. I need a woman with the innocence of an infant freshly purged of original sin, juxtaposed against another side of her nature hellbent on control and destruction, and a

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-58811969137009388762011-06-07T07:04:00.003-05:002011-06-25T18:48:41.413-05:00

   We sat at the wide table in opposition about six feet apart. On one side I ate scrambled eggs and bacon next to an empty bowl with a spoon in it. He sat there eating cereal in relative silence against a backdrop of the thick forest green curtain covering the patio's entrance.   Pass the Honey Smacks.    Say please.   Pass the Honey Smacks.   Son?   Pass the Honey Smacks.   Why won't you mind

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-47999092745586644982011-06-01T00:15:00.008-05:002011-06-01T04:37:29.495-05:00

But I hope each and every one of you recognize that this is a pivotal time for us as human beings. We're experiencing growing pains on a global scale as the result of a rapid increase in technology of the likes not yet seen, similar to that of pre-adolescence to puberty in a young child. The masses have become a neurotic mess by this most delicate situation and it's important to be mindful during

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-69600927917647907952011-05-31T05:10:00.002-05:002011-05-31T05:54:52.924-05:00

My engorged member entered her deeply. She gasped with a passive lack of willingness but understood her need for compliance. Hands got lost in alleys while eyes stared into abysses. Even the Jaws of Life made an appearance. I searched the contours of her ivory flesh, stroking every inch in hopes of finding any inconspicuous indentation of skin. I investigated her head and her every intent by

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-79427349652620858552011-05-23T19:03:00.005-05:002011-12-20T23:20:50.189-06:00

Please call me, Eve.

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-15446810826663431452011-05-21T15:11:00.008-05:002011-05-22T10:19:25.280-05:00

If laughter is the best medicine, recommending The Big Lebowski to a terminally ill grandparent would be the equivalent to pulling the plug. What we have here is an incredible movie that transcends what can fall under the category of bad—a movie that raises the bar (if you're hanging upside-down). Some say I exaggerate my claims when I say the The Big Lebowski is the most detestable film of all

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com42tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-25722569246372912482011-05-11T01:09:00.027-05:002011-09-07T10:41:44.136-05:00

Hopefully this obituary is interesting enough you'll read it. And it is, because it's written by a dead man. How many write their own? Not enough, I'll assume. Most are written by mournful loved ones and only have nice things to say. Tepid things, like "She was generous," or "He is survived by three ugly children." You've never read one stating, "He was reclusive loser with enough free time on

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-65450225577025718472011-05-02T00:51:00.008-05:002011-05-11T02:31:24.531-05:00

Any beverage—especially when held in a plastic container—should be stored at room temperature, away from the fridge. There's something to be said for a refreshment made cold by ice cubes. The way it reaches equilibrium with the soda surrounding it. The texture of ice trapped against your teeth, tongue and glass. The varying degrees of temperature and their individual sensations—the cold mist

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-22224151450878564662011-04-30T17:48:00.011-05:002011-05-23T23:44:15.008-05:00

"You know I hate, detest, and can't bear a lie, not because I am straighter than the rest of us, but simply because it appalls me. There is a taint of death, a flavour of mortality in lies—which is exactly what I hate and detest of the world—what I want to forget. It makes me miserable and sick, like biting something rotten would do. Temperament, I suppose. ...He was just a word for me. I did

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-33030921023385298632011-04-26T14:42:00.023-05:002011-04-26T16:26:37.844-05:00

[The interview starts at a hotel room in Boston, MA. An intern prepares the items Jake requested in advance: Voss water, a neon green crazy straw, a throne decorated with sewn together plush animal cats, and a salad bowl full of Crunch Berries with all but the berries removed. Jake is aware of the All Berries™ brand but refuses, claiming he can taste the difference and enjoys his cereal best when

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-73164146102026008892011-04-25T19:57:00.005-05:002011-04-27T14:23:35.603-05:00

Nothing gets me quite upset like these waste of flesh parasites blindly consuming and living an insipid, purposeless existence. You know who, the lazy, non-contributing sector of the population unable to overcome a simple innate social inequality or injustice. There is no pity in my person worthy of anyone who refuses to live each as if it was their last. Without trying I could list 20 of today's

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-28832711418507724432011-04-23T19:00:00.020-05:002011-09-07T00:26:30.140-05:00

An open letter to Roger Ebert.Foremost, I must suggest if you ever watch this film, watch it with a friend the first time around and not at a theater. Seeing a crowd react is something of a curiosity but detracts from the finer details. Like the likes of La Dolce Vita or Synecdoche, New York, this is one picture that must be seen twice to fully appreciate. This letter regards Tommy Wiseau's The

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-17576930170784823002011-04-14T14:14:00.006-05:002011-04-15T00:46:00.469-05:00

This one's a more serious attempt.An honest appeal to an impossibly clever female. m4wIt's tough being honest, but ultimately worthwhile, so I'm going to be straight-forward here and do a Craigslist personal ad without lies or exaggeration. I am a reincarnated Cary Grant. My soul is more tortured and perverse than Marlon Brando's in Last Tango in Paris. Despite these exemplary qualities I remain

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-4258890304413270072011-04-11T00:24:00.020-05:002011-04-12T07:13:32.132-05:00

Goblins don't need to justify their cruel acts. They're evil creatures. These two lines toward the start of Troll 2 say something profound about human nature. I'll tie them in by the end of this writing. In the words of Hugh Grant after an arrest involving an aptly named, African-American prostitute named Pancake, I did a bad thing. It was the result of a plethora of other bad things, mind games,

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-26280104040643896712011-04-10T04:09:00.006-05:002011-04-10T04:32:29.330-05:00

Cars could run entirely on lemons, but engine patents owned by the oil industry prevent this.During the Salem witch trials, witches were discovered by use of lemons. Any woman tearing up in the presence of a cut lemon was burned at the stake or drowned.Three is the magic number, according to feminine sexuality expert Lara Marie Brenton. In her book, "Sour Lemonade and Fiery Desire," she claims

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-6502705723853783062011-04-07T22:23:00.001-05:002011-04-24T22:36:42.210-05:00

Because I long for human touch.

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-43695283535207971432011-04-05T14:36:00.007-05:002011-04-05T15:14:10.851-05:00

In need of intellectually profound woman to conquer and destroy with. m4wEveryone's looking for that one special person. What happens when they find it? They call it a success, then call it a day. They're like knives spooning until they dull each other down to nubs. Instead of exploring the potential two great minds can realize combined, they take solace in baking lasagna, collecting spices, and

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-16825356346746412432011-04-02T05:33:00.008-05:002011-04-02T05:59:24.553-05:00

And attaining or even knowing this beloved broad served as the keystone to your soul, making up for the lost grabs at all the brass rings from your childhood. She's a spectacular lass, the kind that swoons at the line, "Let me shake my dandruff on you." Although smart, she hates arrogance. Instead of an egghead she's tough, hood, and street. Her appearance suggests she fell off the beauty tree

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-26959154376423928982011-03-31T03:54:00.007-05:002011-04-01T04:38:29.793-05:00

Do the words strange and odd share similar origins, I wonder. "Freak" certainly does. Decades ago you'd find freaks only at a carnival, putting nails in their nose, breathing fire, or having a second head. Then Elvis did a provocative dance, millions tried acid, followed by bellbottoms, mohawks, home pornography and cocaine. This all led the way for Ricki Lake, sappy underdressers, Kurt's suicide

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-14585663024655146212011-03-29T21:38:00.035-05:002011-04-07T22:23:22.333-05:00

Astrology is real, even interesting, so long as you're not confusing uncanny coincidences with supernatural truths. My main assumption works similarly to Russell's Teapot, which claims that if a teapot was said to be orbiting the Sun was affirmed in ancient books, and taught as sacred truth on Sunday, you'd be a nut not to believe it. If something's taught enough it becomes a kind of truth.

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-90970100873516379802011-03-26T22:26:00.001-05:002011-03-26T23:13:17.032-05:00

Inspired and aided by the help of my friend Dr. Stein.

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-35051349057955068072011-03-26T22:06:00.001-05:002011-03-30T00:50:38.606-05:00

The only undecided factor is whether it will be by decision or by death. It should show you the extent of my enthusiasm in writing that I've began writing about writing. An aside: I won't step past writing about writing about writing, as meta x > 3 either becomes convoluted, trivial or simply schizophrenic. It's my Law of Three.I began writing regularly only as response to working a bad job, and

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-86852801658852101612011-03-24T22:30:00.007-05:002011-03-24T22:39:02.493-05:00

Three is an important number. You need three legs for a stable table, and it always settles nicely, unlike the wobbly fourth addition. In fact, three is the last important number. One gets all the credit and attention, after all, it's the loneliest. It's also the beginning, and the least you can have of anything that's whole. It's often the last you can have of certain things: one infinite

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-15058327989384037172011-03-22T14:45:00.016-05:002011-03-22T20:33:44.216-05:00

This is an old one! It's a nightmarish take on American aspirations. Oddly, despite the overwhelming cynicism I'm not embarrassed by the content, likely as I relate to the sufferer of pathological angst who wrote it.You've graduated from college, the stepping stone to success in the modern world. Most people live their entire lives within 50 miles of their birthplace, what are the odds of all the

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-83364166869097514172011-03-20T18:08:00.003-05:002011-05-23T21:20:05.761-05:00

Rot in hell, Steve Jobs.

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-24682261941506459942011-03-05T05:11:00.014-06:002011-04-07T18:54:55.934-05:00

As we move forward as a society, we stray further and further from the term "uncivilized." Uncivilized is a bad thing. There's an irony that only people about as clever as apes think we evolved directly from them, and another often missed irony that apes are incredibly intelligent animals, but for the sake of a good statement, let me say we've come a long way from way of the apes. Society

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-10163117172944182332010-12-17T11:40:00.010-06:002011-03-05T15:01:58.254-06:00

"What would you do if you could stop time?" is a question I sometimes ask interesting people. Perhaps it's a selfish, subconscious yearning to add insight to my own answer. The question is important enough because it asks, "What would the root of you do right now, alone in the context of this world, with the aging process posing no barrier?" It's you, undiluted by the influence of others, with

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-27635893829485732272010-12-13T01:07:00.006-06:002011-03-04T23:31:49.218-06:00

I love to self-hate. Only after you've lost all the entirety of your ego are you free to be an interesting person. If you hate yourself, you take out the middle men. Society can no longer effectively blame you. Knowing who you are gives you confidence. Me, I'm scum. No amount of derogatory or other verbal abuse could affect me. Perhaps it's the most wonderful defense mechanism. Even if you

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-26440284269388235852010-11-26T17:51:00.008-06:002011-03-24T23:16:14.473-05:00

Black Friday (Song Lyrics)Black FridayIt's Black, alrightIs there a Black Friday deal on love (love)My aching heart's in turmoilPumping blood like bile so black it's oilIs there a discount on a kiss (a kiss)Is there a sale on a sweet girl's heartOh, it's Black, alrightIs there a deal on a black grand pianoDoes it come with instructions (does it)I know I could play it I know I could make itI know

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-58269411518493802832010-11-21T23:11:00.007-06:002011-04-07T05:59:28.092-05:00

Scumbag in search of honest work. Hey there, prospective employers in the resume section. I bet you're tired of dishonest individuals who keep it fake, emailing you 20x a day with resumes no more enticing than day-old McFranken meat. You read the resume, invite them over, and they show up dressed in a half-hearted impression of a Gap ad from last season. Then they speak, and their mouth-breathing

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-67579278148829518602010-11-08T16:16:00.002-06:002011-05-23T21:37:42.848-05:00

Little is known about me on the web or by the inhabitants of "reality." In the early '70s, I acquired copious cash money, and have lived off that and the vegetables that will grow on my sandy island. It all started with my band, "Yeon Xes Zorbis," or as some know it: the greatest band that ever existed.It was around 1969 when I began experimenting with a drug that would change my life forever —

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-34570967230663543872010-11-04T12:12:00.004-05:002010-11-26T23:38:20.853-06:00

Because I'm constantly clogging the court system for alleged rape of white women.

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-12079038008562552212010-10-13T19:43:00.007-05:002010-11-10T23:14:43.306-06:00

Guy with strict sexual kinks needs lovers (participants). m4wHey there. I'm looking to play out some fantasies but it's tough to find like-minded individuals in my modest village. Scenario #1I'd like to be smothered by 5-7 pregnant women, 4 months in or more each. The meeting will take place in a large home owned by one of you, where I will be passively and shyly sitting down on a sofa next to

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-54605617170581953402010-10-05T14:14:00.003-05:002010-10-20T00:29:15.641-05:00

It's an old age Illuminati secret community colleges were created to gather human test subjects to be propelled by rockets toward the Sun. Who else joins but expendable people aged 18 or 48? Why else is it an atmosphere of a sexless orgy with everyone in pajamas? What else could explain the two-year dead end degrees and non-transferable credits? It's common knowledge that only people who failed

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-18234230227323670692010-10-05T11:30:00.006-05:002011-03-22T15:45:50.676-05:00

Said I had my .40 cal loaded at my head and was prepared to end myself if they didn't speak dirty to me. Worked in less than three tries (the first two were guys). She was a Christian girl named Becca. At one point she said, "...Um... I'm giving you a ...handjob." So awkward. Came in no time, haha.

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-74868531645186813182010-10-03T15:18:00.010-05:002010-10-05T14:23:22.580-05:00

First it was Bergman, then Pimp C. Recently, I was informed author Christopher Hitchens is battling cancer. Fellow God amongst men Roger Ebert wrote about it in sympathy by comparison to his own illness. I wept like Jesus finding out Santa Claus isn't real reading that. And Jesus, that's just about the whole goddamn lot of 'em. Who's next? David Mitchell, who hasn't dated in six years, loves

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-83972677602914321292010-09-28T10:46:00.005-05:002010-09-28T11:10:16.342-05:00

The day begins to the irritating alarm of your cellphone. You could change it to a ringtone, but don't feel you deserve the satisfaction. You masturbate to pictures of your ex-girlfriend from three years ago—a girl named Kelly from Kinkos who taught you to fax and remains unaware of your relationship. After the minute is over, you walk head down to the shower in shame and sob under cold waters.

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-12351841111888549182010-09-08T20:04:00.002-05:002010-09-08T20:07:09.376-05:00

Sane man looking for a hairy girl to call his own. m4wEh, ol' girl. Eh, shorty. What's up? Picture this: me&you, side-by-side in bed in my parent's basement, the flickering glow of a television in the background, showcasing that black & white foreign hotness, that Bergman that Tarkovsky that Herzog that gushy stuff. Like Last Tango in Paris, that mutual self-loathing and despair we can share. Two

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-25354582469655224812010-09-08T19:54:00.007-05:002010-10-05T14:37:15.181-05:00

Unrepentant misogynist in need of hot cunt. - m4wHello, ladies. I'm a big fan of yours. I love to hate you. I'm your average lad, a twenty-something lowlife, jobless loser. I look and act like a less moral version of Hitman. I know you're feeling this right here. Nice guys finish last, and every lass wants a real man, one that treats them like dirt. Scumbags are where it's at: use me to get back

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-90022449166666426752010-09-01T01:01:00.009-05:002011-12-21T03:40:53.635-06:00

Samantha brought Charles back to her apartment through seduction. A kind cold and calculated, with the lure of no strings, and it sold. He was made to expect one final fuck, a farewell. A no hard feelings, good luck with future endeavors sort of thing. That, and she offered to return the few dozen records he had gifted the girl over the years.Upon his arrival, Charles noticed the changes in his

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-20160342547066969802010-08-29T00:01:00.005-05:002011-03-20T20:30:09.148-05:00

Take no offense. My girlfriend is black-jew.

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-70879300246591562010-08-29T00:00:00.002-05:002011-03-20T20:25:37.521-05:00

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-8434122705030122412010-08-18T02:22:00.001-05:002010-08-29T00:03:11.553-05:00

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-60208283669285396952010-08-14T15:31:00.017-05:002011-05-23T21:39:30.489-05:00

Nolan knelt before Emma's grave and placed a flower near its base. "I'm here thinking to myself, and wondering if somehow you can hear this. I suppose I could say it aloud but if I believe in spirits I should believe in their telepathy. Somehow speaking to you was easier before now, in my head, when I was lying in bed just thinking about what I'd tell you if you hadn't gone. Now that I'm finally

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-14683413126278098112010-08-13T14:23:00.005-05:002011-03-26T00:24:48.138-05:00

None of the footage in this episode is my own, sans the picture of the kissing statues. Most of the video was shot from the screen in certain ways for a particular effect. Had I known the footage would be used for two different videos I would have picked images that worked better in both a positive and negative light. This piece is complemented by: Interference #004 - A Negative Transmission.

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-76911048225467072812010-08-12T13:56:00.002-05:002010-08-12T14:03:44.650-05:00

This is a very personal poem inspired by both the death of the love of my life and my father. I figured I wouldn't post it, but honesty is the only way to shed your skin and make it stronger.

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-51026356273664328052010-07-31T12:15:00.013-05:002010-07-31T15:19:31.315-05:00

Depression is a common illness affecting an increasing and alarming number of Americans. This plague is striking many of our neighbors at a younger age, and despite living in a land of affluence and opportunity, many are coming to a daunting realization: being a plumber is only fun in Super Mario Brothers, not reality. The current state of America's economy can be easily generalized and canned

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-68866904689095319302010-07-20T19:08:00.003-05:002011-09-08T10:58:43.232-05:00

“Art is never finished, only abandoned.”Interference is a project I started and will likely abandon. The idea was to make abstract, loosely-connected, lawless short movies only coherent in their chaotic design. If I worked on the series over a lifetime and the clips were without rules, they could be derivative, reused, sampled and remixed. The best parts of previous entries could be excised and

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-37934687484848760442010-07-17T15:56:00.001-05:002010-07-17T16:04:55.477-05:00

"If you were in a burning house and there was a cat and a Rembrandt, what would you save? The cat... you would save the cat, because the cat is alive. The art is dead. It’s just paint on a canvas, ink on a page. To live for art is to deny life. It's just to destroy life." — Diane Frolov and Andrew Schneider, Northern Exposure, 1992From comments on Ebert's blog: "...The best video game ever

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-36514525436350878292010-07-07T17:12:00.002-05:002010-07-07T20:55:17.643-05:00

Sarcasm is a staple of the irreverent 18-24 year old demographic diet. Sarcasm adds the flavorful zest that only saying what you don't really mean can. It's black pepper and you can't make a meal out of it. It's base, simple, and the lowest way of spicing up your dialogue. Where does the substance sustenance come into play? Sarcasm is best used to counterpoint and drop some knowledge. Typically,

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-52623700818375574662010-07-02T11:13:00.001-05:002010-07-02T11:16:46.195-05:00

Sat in the shower clutching my kneesHalf-heartedly searched for workVomited contemplating the expanding universePhotographed a dead birdDrank aloneWatched 7 Bergman films in one sitting (drank during the dramatic parts)Became born againBegged the Lord to end the painWanked to Dylan Sprouse of The Suite Life: On DeckScolded a child for smilingAttempted to slit my wrists with a disposable face

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-59724376659909327442010-06-26T20:46:00.005-05:002011-04-13T09:15:46.782-05:00

My journey to the pinnacle of ethical and healthful (don't you dare misuse "healthy" around me, dear God) eating started at the tender age of trimester one. There in the womb, I vividly recall drinking society's collective milkshake out of Mother's umbilical cord. The heavens had granted me the perfect harmony of nutrition, allowing me to exist in this serene state free of health woes for 10 and

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-57350553921936680332010-06-13T20:59:00.014-05:002010-07-07T17:16:16.274-05:00

"All work is honorable yet art is just a job. Let me spend my paycheck on a beer. No heroes, no leaders, no artists, no gods." -- New Bomb TurksWhats honorable about art? The best artists had natural talent. They had the gift bestowed upon them, likely by nothing more than pure coincidence. In some cases, they were made or enhanced by environmental factors. When a person's guiding force is

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-22610676818548663032010-05-29T13:12:00.013-05:002011-09-08T23:21:45.401-05:00

It can't be all bad. Being hip is good, it's the ster you don't want. But there's no problem with a jokester, a prankster, or a speedster. The dilemma here is that the ster itself implies hipness. You can't have enough of a good thing, but you surely can't have two of the same identical good thing. Let's look at it this way: in a general way, a synonym for hip is fad, and who would take the term

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-36175290727546268542010-05-28T12:57:00.015-05:002010-06-26T11:19:40.556-05:00

"What's wrong with lolhead?" I asked. "It's not real enough," he replied. And with that sage wisdom a seed was planted. From it grows this post which will play out like an open diary. This post puts a temporary halt to calculated words. I'll be on the stream of consciousness kick. Like an open diary, it's boring and you shouldn't read it. HE's right, you know. This blog isn't real enough to

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-57396740407968762652010-05-25T00:28:00.010-05:002011-05-23T21:18:49.285-05:00

It came to me in a dream. Three years in the making, this has been one of my simpler Photoshop pet projects. This piece I'll explain, as it's already obvious to any non-plebeian. It represents the primal polarities, as the id, the ego and the superego battle contently for and against complacency in a modern world devoid of morality, ingenuity, and meaning. It's all about the extremes of man and,

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-37713448793403412072010-05-10T00:54:00.009-05:002010-06-27T05:28:44.896-05:00

Living on the edge isn't always simpl—FL*P G2G THE PIGS ARE TRIANGULATING ON MY POSITION INSIDE KINKOS. BBL TBC TTYL.

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-37460734277090275582010-05-04T18:19:00.009-05:002010-06-27T05:34:34.491-05:00

...On the subject of books. I hear they are these longer versions of articles that entertain and educate, sometimes with detailed, elaborate, fictionalized stories and others with historical information, studies, and instructions. The dilemma led on to with these "books" is: who has the patience to read? Books, as defined by Webster, are "Non-essential reading designed to further alienate you

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-58536843369156846402010-05-02T18:36:00.001-05:002010-05-02T18:36:39.686-05:00

The body can survive up to three weeks on hate alone?

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-2812564185947521262010-04-12T17:03:00.006-05:002011-05-23T21:24:10.924-05:00

Would you appear on MTV's Diary alongside Nick Cannon? Now, he's going for a new angle to revitalize his career, and needs you to fake a relationship with him for his upcoming double album, "Bi Attitude." You will be seen fine dining on the reality show next to Nick in a "cuddling" position playing the female role in the relationship, and drinking cosmopolitans with your pinky extended and such.

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-51449173466110055422010-04-12T17:01:00.002-05:002010-04-12T17:17:59.647-05:00

This eye-popping title would be great for a relevant article regarding politics. Now git 'round to it.

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-49426334194119197142010-03-21T16:23:00.020-05:002011-09-07T16:44:02.429-05:00

Let me take a break from self-loathing and finally start and finish this resume project. You see, I've had it in mind to do a "real" resume for this site for some time now. Let me list my first flaw to hook you in, I procrastinate. This idea has been meandering about my mind for some time. In These Tough Economic Times, finding a job can be quite difficult. Especially when ambition and desire is

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-53037432220066016832010-03-06T21:02:00.003-06:002010-03-06T22:07:37.921-06:00

Allow me to preface this by stating I haven't had any real friends since 8th grade, when Mom refused to let me watch Half-Baked. So my car stalled behind Mauricio's Adult Video & Shrimp. Imagine the horror. I forgot the last time my car needed a jump was three years ago when my last friend Fat Todd was still alive. Imagine the horror. It's negative 4 degrees out in this remote area only a porno

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-1863019365481262492010-02-22T10:46:00.003-06:002010-02-22T11:08:42.952-06:00

Use my tears to water my weeping willow bonsai tree. Scold Mother when she forgets to buy Easymac at Sam's.Go to Supercuts n pay $9.99 to collect the clippings of ginger ladies. Furnish my bathroom with a deer scarer, black-headed pig Chia Pet and a nude poster of Bjork holding a leaf.Try n converse w/construction workers via walkie-talkie. They never respond.Dust my deceased grandpa's collection

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-34711187662903188222010-02-19T08:54:00.004-06:002010-02-20T12:29:39.157-06:00

All mine are pretty standard. School girl, girl in a nurse outfit, objectifying women. My most elaborate is also pretty kinky: a girl takes a swing at my stomach with a katana, connects, reaches in and pulls the excrement out of my entrails, and throws it at me while spouting immensely vulgar verbal degradation using the Alf puppet on her free hand.

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-28524529532570517712010-01-31T22:09:00.006-06:002010-02-22T11:08:17.423-06:00

Say you were stranded on an island for five grueling years somewhere in the Bermuda Triangle. You lived off the land, which consisted of fruits and hunting foxes by bow and arrow. Your fire-starting abilities have reached expertise. Your best friend is a fox head on a stick figure body made of tree branches named Kentucky. Small planes occasionally hover over you, but you can never seem to

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-69548631917634220952010-01-25T14:27:00.003-06:002010-01-25T14:41:41.043-06:00

They're always buying happy meals and graduating college. They're always attempting to be goal-oriented by using ambition as means to excel. Not me, though. I see through the system. Living with my Mom and eating donuts off my bare chest may seem like the actions of a slacker to the layman, but screw those doofs. Here's the low down dirty nitty-gritty: living life is for the most pious of posers.

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-65989840721563303782010-01-24T01:38:00.002-06:002010-01-24T01:47:37.591-06:00

an attractive woman with a genuine soul and untouchable style. to disagree implies a lack of understanding of the human heart and an inability to appreciate a rebellious woman without bounds — except those she forges consciously.to deny her graceful dirtygoth demeanor means you're trying too hard and think the daily show is the pinnacle of comedy and funnier or any more socially relevant than the

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-10390073039651036692010-01-23T00:05:00.000-06:002010-01-23T00:06:05.928-06:00

My parents are out of town and I'm left with my nephew. He mistakenly took my batch of marijuana brownies for a batch of regular brownies. Now he looks redder than usual. At first he went on about building a spaceship while banging a Gamecube controller against his toy box, now he won't stop repeating, "I'm Spongebob Square Man!" and calling me Patrick. Any advice? What the heck do I do?

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-42753672735619234292010-01-20T01:13:00.002-06:002010-01-20T01:18:48.642-06:00

Only sadness sates meOnly Lord Bukowski provides warmth Mother says,"Son, you're 38.Isn't it time you thought about community college again?"No, I won't do it. I'll resist violently. "Your society's a joke, Mother dear.Slavedrones workin' for queen bee Illuminati.""But, son — " "No buts, dead ends, or compromises!"I remove my Starbucks apron"I see through your sik society's transparent

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-83263487480764558672010-01-13T20:34:00.007-06:002010-01-14T01:34:18.995-06:00

I'm a busy man. Even though I've got ideas, I spent the majority of this month watching all 97 episodes of Tales From The Crypt. This leaves our loyal fanbase without much new content. To make up for this, you may write your own imaginative tales by expanding on ideas I don't have time for:Da Vinci Buys Bread. The original master of multitasking Leonardo takes a much needed break for bread and

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-46549628505466998142010-01-10T17:14:00.007-06:002010-11-30T12:24:48.569-06:00

Intro/shout: love is beyond the fall of every man..!Science! Intelligence! Ivy puss-puss!I'm rockin' the scopes to debase my enemiesDon't mean the sniper rifles Scientist in the lab lookin' at the microbesWe got AKs, y'all got glocks to scareOn lock I got biological warfareI've got four eyes - Ain't nothin' to mess withUnstoppable, the world's champion at TetrisGlobal domination force-feeding

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-73436429770229298642010-01-02T03:26:00.000-06:002010-01-02T03:27:20.899-06:00

The Bible II: How Jodie Marsh as the Reincarnated Virgin Mary Saved the Vatican

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-53040761813864972892010-01-02T03:24:00.004-06:002010-01-06T23:32:39.628-06:00

Are undeniably the genuine article.

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-48087556119405266492009-12-31T22:38:00.018-06:002011-03-20T20:06:51.252-05:00

"Eh. Hey. It's ya boy, John Smalls." "Keep it hydrated." "Light it up, Reggie. Rock that Rocawear Aeropostle style.""Burnin'.""70MPH!" "Oh, snap! Samantha Skittles is still on the tracks! Lights out! Blue Havana!""Kalm, this ain't some Midgar-shite righte here.""Ruff!" — Unknown."Wut?" — All.Dmx breaks through the ceiling windows. Wruff Wrighter DMX unleashes a barrage of DS Styluses on Johnny

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-3864474595557392062009-12-25T18:17:00.021-06:002010-01-13T21:14:58.289-06:00

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-25455967350299974142009-12-16T00:37:00.002-06:002010-01-06T23:33:02.054-06:00

Are just honest women.

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-17228076556265106192009-12-07T23:56:00.002-06:002009-12-08T00:14:39.400-06:00

It's your boy w.g. to the 3rd degree, the one and only giving up an update from my mindspace about what's happenin' in the epicenter of the universe. All I can say is that I'm really feeling this thing called "life." You know, as of late everything's flying my way. Joined AA, became a born-again christian (fuck the haters), reconciled with my Dad, various other shit including jobs and video

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-65855499900191962882009-12-01T17:44:00.002-06:002010-09-08T19:51:12.277-05:00

Need a classy lass that wants to sleep next to a loving bigot. - 25 Hello, hot and friendly succulent dames inhabiting the cyber world.Is this post about me? No, I'd say it's about you. You've been scouring Craigslist perhaps for dumps and giggles or out of a genuine interest in finding your dream significant other. Well scour no longer, cunt. I'm a bit of a blunt motherfucker, so you'll have to

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-59837872032415784682009-11-29T17:57:00.001-06:002009-11-29T18:01:47.739-06:00

A bit tasteless, IMHO.

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-60756713294717991292009-11-27T21:06:00.005-06:002009-11-28T01:06:25.757-06:00

Done in 4-6-9.perverse haikustaining that kimonomaking me randy in the damn pantstonya facelessfyne in her "slut" necklacebras and bracelets coordinated elvie likes dogsdrinks semen on the rocksthey're not mutually exclusiveweird-nosed womanbird-like hotness, gorgeous flounder cheeks and sharp beak engorgesi acting youngeskimo kissed her cuntaw, love you, yes i do, yes i do

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-45817465137066166392009-11-22T18:13:00.004-06:002009-11-22T18:22:57.794-06:00

Just this weekend I got caught and penalized by the pigs. Apparently, it's illegal to ride a lawn mower while under the influence. They would've never suspected a gosh darn thing had it not been 2am at the time, and that's why I'm pleading not guilty on my upcoming court date. For a while, I was real stressed about the whole prospect of having my squeeky clean driving record sullied. How will I

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-67278315509037084522009-11-18T06:04:00.006-06:002011-05-23T21:27:37.392-05:00

Life is rough. That's why I got in the game. I spent my time on the streets drinking from a flask and looking for purpose, even if it was trouble. You walk the crowded streets of a city and you're bound to run into something. Someone's going to hassle you, someone's going to speak to you, someone's going to sell you on something. Me, I'm not too lonely, just bored. That's why I wandered in the

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209287560009976774.post-89472003022628500552009-11-13T11:16:00.010-06:002010-09-09T14:54:54.692-05:00

are you a failure that takes nothing seriously? m4whello females and latent homosexuals looking at the m4w section. are you a sucker for a nice smile? do you dwell over another lost day without a motivated, ambitious guy? do you yearn for someone fun to be around? does the thought of chiseled abs and a defined physique get you bothered? if so, i'm not your man.instead, i never smile. no, my face

draglinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16819368350603249894noreply@blogger.com0